I've been Wiccan for about 10 years. In that 10 years, I've met many Pagans. I find that we are a very open and accepting community. We have a very rich and diverse community, or do we?
It seems that the Pagan community is lacking one important element...Straight men. The Old Guard Pagan Males (Ray Buckland, Gerald Gardner, Isaac Bonewits, etc) most of them loved sex with women. But the newer male authors (Scott Cunningham, Christopher Penzcak) love men.
I'm not writing this to bash gays. I love gay men and gay women. I myself am bisexual and I consider them to be my kindred. But I also see that straight male Pagans are a rarity.
On the Youtube community of which I'm a part, we can see a section of our community. While they do exist, straight or women loving men, are hard to find. At the moment, I can only think of one single/unattached straight male Wiccan in his 20's on YouTube. PrincelordChris (quite a looker too)
I find it ironic that he calls himself Prince, because he is in a way. He represents the most sought after sexual commodity in the Wiccan community. Not surprisingly, women flock to his channel. He was even requested to do a Naked Video-which he hasn't done yet-by a cute red head. I think the Prince doesn't realize his royalty.
This is a problem from two angles. First, for the ladies, we are forced to either find mates outside our faith (which is what I did) or stay lonely. For Pagans this poses a unique problem because sex is sacred to a Pagan. Being able to share sex on a magickal and spiritual level is important. And reciprocal magickal energy from one's partner is ideal. He is the Horned One to our Goddess. The male Pagan is aware of the magick of his masculinity-a powerful tool in work and play.
For the rare single Pagan men, well they become sought after to the degree that they have hangers on. Finding a genuine mate instead of a desperate woman becomes difficult. Women who find an attractive single straight Pagan male treat him like a movie star. The displays I've seen to garner attention from this elusive creature from our side of the species is deplorable. Fights occur, friendships ruined and it is damaging to all.
So where are the straight Pagan males. Is it that males are less likely to be religious? Is it the perceived feminine domination of our faith? It could be a mixture of both. If we look at what faiths that straight males gravitate to, they don't tend to be feminine centered. And Wicca, is at least equal if not feminist leaning in it's tendencies. But other Pagan faiths, tend to have more straight men like Druidism and Asatru. These faiths both have more of a patriarchal system of hierarchy compared to Wicca. Perhaps they are silent, not ready to come out.
Also, it seems, that less God(s) centered pagan faiths like Thelema are dominated by men, usually straight men-or at least men who like sex with women. This supports the claims that Pew Forum makes about men being less likely to believe in God(s).
I think some of these quiet creatures don't realize the commodity they possess. And maybe that's a good thing. We don't want them thinking that they are the Gods gift to women.
To the Princes who are out there. Don't dismay, you'll have your pick of Pagan women. But by all means, let the ladies know you exist.
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9 comments:
I guess it depends on where you look. I do agree with you on the shortage of straight male internet pagans but if you are going to moots and things, sometimes that can be the only way through networking assosiations and things. Too bad that my parents don't allow me to attend any.
Blessed Be )O(
Sophia
xoxox
It might be an internet phenomena like Sophia suggested. I'm a solitary practitioner, but I do attend public rituals and gatherings. I haven't noticed this. To tell you the truth in the last few groups I've attended there weren't any gay men. Around here is backwards. I have a few young, great looking gay friends, looking for relationships. They have not found anyone worth pursuing, Pagan or otherwise.
My boyfriend is not Pagan, but he is definitely God to my Goddess! He religious worldview is very eclectic and for that I'm so thankful. He respects my beliefs and is open to the learning experience. Like me, he believes in the sacredness of love and sex, and the fact that separate these two are not very fulfilling--at least not for a long period of time.
Thanks for sharing, and do let me know if the Prince goes skyclad on youtube! LOL
There is always the choice to do what I did: find a nice Catholic boy and convert him ;O)
Well the only males that I see that have any pagan leanings is Satanist. But there is a lot of problems with that philosopy compaired to Wicca. Wicca as you said seems to be targeted at women.
So I don't know what the real answer to this problem is.
Sometimes it does seem as if there are hardly any straight Pagan or Wiccan men, and the few that I know in my area are just plain weird as hell and/or want someone to practice polyamory with, which I am not interested in, but whatever floats your boat. Anyway, I would love to find a Pagan/Wiccan man, but it seems almost impossible sometimes. It would be so nice to be able to share your religion with your significant other. Considering how important my religion is to me, I think that it would be hard to connect with the other person at times if they did not share at least some of my religious beliefs. I don't think that I could ever be with a Christian either because I wouldn't be able to trust that they would just let me have my own beliefs and they have their own. Maybe a Christian Wiccan or another religion that is not one of the Abrahamic beliefs. I wonder if maybe I am doomed to a life of solitude (romantically speaking). Then there are times that I wonder if a life of solitude isn't such a bad thing.
I think that a lot men see Wiccans/Pagans as mainly goddess worshipers and often it seems as if the gods are just added as an after thought. Like, oh, and we have the god over but enough about him, lets praise the goddess some more. I think that if there seemed more of a balance, then maybe more men would be interested. I understand why so many generally focus on the goddesses or goddess aspect, considering most seem to come from Christianity. But if you'll remember how you felt when the female aspect wasn't honored and how deprived you felt because of it, maybe this is how many men feel when they study Paganism. I mean, look at how many pagan books out there that are directed toward women and then compare that to the ones directed toward men. I only know of a two or three that are directed specifically toward men.
I've noticed a lot of Males in the Hellenist community.
What I've noticed is a lot of women who are Wiccan but find mates in like Druidism or Asatru like you've mentioned.
Though I don't think you need similar religions to get love. My girlfriend is Threvadden Buddhist.
I am a 54 year old Pagan man and i am
not gay in any way at all.
I have been a Pagan all my life i think a lot of people are afraid of Pagans these days.
I have been trying to fiend a Pagan women in my area for a long time and as far as i know there are noon around hear.
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